When Life Is Maintenance, Not Magic
Ebb & Flow
The last few months of my life have been about the ebb and flow, learning to stop resisting seasons that don’t look like flourishing.
Through reflection, I’ve come to understand that there is a drop of grief here. And please don’t get me wrong — there is also deep joy and gratitude. I have two beautiful, healthy, strong babes, and I feel incredibly blessed to be their mama. But alongside that joy, grief exists too. It comes with change. With the different rhythm my life has taken. With the transformation motherhood has brought with it.
This season asked me to down tools.
To find my feet again.
To learn my new flow.
I was trying to live as though this chapter should look like the last one. I wanted the same energy, the same creative output, the same sense of momentum — even though my sleep was limited and broken and my days were filled with the very real work of caring, working, playing, and maintaining life.
Essentially - I wanted it all, and I wanted it now.
In the small pockets of time I had to recharge, I emptied instead.
I emptied my mind.
I emptied my energy.
I emptied my reserves.
It always swung one of two ways. Either I collapsed onto the couch crocheting while watching something I’d already seen — so I didn’t need to engage — or I crammed household jobs into that space. And just as I paused, just as I tried to rest, I was needed again.
I wasn’t being wise with my time.
I was surviving inside it.
Everything began to shift when I stopped demanding that this season look like the last one.
I started to reflect differently. To coach myself gently in the moment. I began asking questions such as:
What will actually recharge me right now?
What action most aligns with my values?
Is what I’m doing helpful or harmful in the long run?
Those moments of reflection, acceptance, and adjustment created real change.
Creativity didn’t disappear — it simply changed shape.
It now shows up quietly, all day, every day. Not always as visible output or “Instagram-worthy” work, but as honest, playful, practical creativity in how I show up with my family. This is where my energy needed to be in this season. Where my focus, time, and heart belonged.
Expecting myself to do it all was unfair — and unkind — to me and to my family.
This is where my core values come home. My 4 C’s.
Creativity now looks like presence over production.
Connection means being fully with the people in front of me.
Compassion asks me to soften expectations and meet myself where I am.
Curiosity keeps me open — asking instead of assuming, allowing instead of forcing.
I am deeply grateful for my coaching practice and for the community of coaches who support me. The reflection and transformation I live regularly is what feeds my grá for this work. I know now that there is no finish line. No final version of me where everything is complete and never needs tending again.
That isn’t real life.
But finding a flow — whether for a day, a month, or a year — where my actions align with my values, where I feel grounded and connected before things shift again… that feels like the work that matters.
My intention moving forward is simple, but not easy: to honour how my C’s — Creativity, Connection, Compassion, and Curiosity — show up in my actions. Not how I expect them to. Not how I force them to. But how they naturally live and breathe in this season of life.
This season has reminded me that not all growth is visible — and not all meaningful work looks like flourishing.
What season are you in right now — and what might change if you stopped fighting it?
Wherever you are, may you find permission to move at a pace that honours your energy, your values, and your life as it is — not as it “should” be.
— Aoife
